The Angry Black person

Either you've seen it...you've experienced it...or you've done it. Everyone (Black, White, Yellow, whatever) knows what I'm talking about. For us Black folks, whenever we decide that we do not want to be bothered, like by the Girl Scouts out in front of Wal-Mart; a sales clerk in a dept store; someone in the mall or on the street handing out flyers or coupons; etc. -we put on this "mean-muggin-don't-eff-with-me" look that says "if you mess with me, I'll kick your ass". I did it today at lunch on a woman that was backing out of a parking space at the bank. I shot the look at her- she slammed on her brake and waited for me to pass. Is it wrong? Probably. But the bigger question.....
Is it effective? Oh hell yeah! Whether it be a co-worker or family member, that "don't mess with me today" look, works like a charm.
I hate to say it but, aside from a few select white friends of mine (you know who you are.... "Hale") most cannot pull off "the look" with any reasonable degree of success. I suppose that is the "plus" side of the media always making us out to be "scary and crazed" (if there is such a thing as a "plus" side) Think about it. When we are not the scary type, we are often labeled as acting "white" or told
"Gee, you aren't like the other ones". For the longest time, our sports figures did their best to be "not like the other ones". Now in this age of "keeping it real", our sports figures look, act, and portray themselves as common thugs and hoodlums. Instead of bringing an air of class and common decency back to the hood, most have chosen to bring the hood to the levels of the aristocrats (i.e. 50 Cent hanging with Donald Trump; Bruce Willis partying with Snoop Dogg, etc). I'll leave that alone for now...and save that for another rant. In closing, next time you feel you
have to use the "mean mug", take a moment to give thanks to the media who has helped perpetuate the stereotype. We of course, turn right around and use it to our advantage which, in the grand scheme of things, probably isn't such a bad thing after all...or is it?
As always,
To Punka, Doobie and Ses- my love.
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No Big Deal.....

How often have you heard someone say "Hey, it's no big deal"? Not sure?
Can't recall? Well, let me refresh your memory:

"So what I smoke a little weed....it's no big deal".

Tell that to the girl/woman who got high with a few "friends" (people she REALLY didn't know) and woke up in a strange house, in a strange bed, with a stranger who, in her right state of mind, she would have never spoken to let alone slept with, 'cause someone laced her "tree" with who-knows-what.

"So what I don't pay most of my bills on time...it's no big deal".

Tell that to the woman who, because her credit is jacked up, cannot get approved for a credit card; cannot rent an apartment (let alone by a house); get a car without a co-signer (or paying 17% interest); or even open a bank account for her school age child.

"So what I had a couple drinks after work and drove home...it's no big deal".

Tell that to the woman who lost 5 members of her family that were headed home from a gathering only to be killed by a driver who was so drunk, she doesn't even remember getting behind the wheel let alone having the actual accident.

"So what I keep my kids under "lock and key" and don't let them out of my sight for fear they will get into some kind of trouble.....it's no big deal".

Tell that to the girl who graduated from high school with good grades but no sense of responsibility; went off to college and was "labeled" as the campus slut by the end of the first semester 'cause she was not used to having any freedom and when given the chance, she went buckwild! (by the way, she went back home after the first semester).

"So what my wife and I work 12 hours days 6 to 7 days a week to maintain our high standard of living....it's no big deal".

Tell that to the boy or girl who ends up joining a gang or running with an unsavory "click" because they showed him/her that "love" that they longed for but didn't get at home 'cause you both were working so damn hard.

"So what my kid plays those video games where there is a bunch of blood and guts and gore......it's no big deal".

Tell that to the grandparents who just buried their son and daughter-in-law 'cause their 13 year old grandson got mad (when his parents grounded him for getting bad grades), grabbed the family shotgun and blew both his parents away.

I am not a saint. I am by no means anywhere even remotely near to being perfect. What I am cognizant of is that EVERYTHING I do, whether it be positive or negative, has an affect on someone I know and/or love and some aspect of my life- present or future. It's too bad that more of us are not aware...or just don't give a damn.

"Punka", "Doobie", "Hun"......
I'm out.

Things My Caucasion Friends Should Know but Don't.

(Please forward this to all those people that need to know)



Movies like, "Juice", "Menace to Society", "Boyz in Da Hood", etc. If we are watching any of these movies together, do not ask me any questions. Trust me, you wouldn't understand anyway.

Forties; blunts; red kool-aid; going to get your own "switch"; "Damn, Damn, Damn"; Any of these ring a bell? If not, you ain't down.

If you have to ask if I would mind if you tell an "off color" joke, there is a real good chance that I do (and an even better chance that I will kick your ass when you are done).

No, I do not have to wash my hair every single day.

No, just because I am a person of color, that does not mean I can play basketball.

Yes. WE DO GET SUNBURNED if we stay out in the sun too long!

If we go out to lunch and hit the "soul food" spot on the westside of town (in just about every city/town, the brothers live on the westside), the uncomfortable feeling you get 'cause you are the only "white guy/gal" in the place is the SAME one we get EVERYTIME we go to a white establishment or attend a conference/meeting/gathering and WE are the only spot in the place (we also get that feeling of relief when we see another brother/sister enter the room).

It is not polite (actually it is quite rude) to reach onto a person's plate and taste their food WITH THEIR FORK unless you are given permission to do so...and while I'm thinking about it-

If we go out for drinks, please do not taste my drink. I'm sure you think alcohol kills all germs, ailments, diseases, etc. but the truth is, it does not! I have no idea where your lips have been and even though you don't think it's a big deal, trust me...IT IS.


No matter how cool we are, it is NEVER,EVER acceptable for you to use the "N" word in my presence.....EVER.

And last but not least, whenever you say something that even remotely sounds like "What are you talking about? Racist? Me? I'll have you know some of my best friends are Black", you have pretty much confirmed our suspicions. Don't try to figure it out- you apparently don't understand (truth is, my caucasion friends that are truly not racist, have never uttered such nonsense- you see, they DO get it).

Parenting 101- Folks, raise your own d*$% kids!

Okay....Let's not get it twisted. I AM NOT AN EXPERT BY ANY MEANS when it comes to parenting I do however think that I have a pretty good foundation from which to build on. I'm not a wife beater; I don't do drugs; I pay my bills (most of them) on time; I think my parents did a good job of instilling some "core" values in me (and my siblings) to help prepare us for the real world.
First of all, we have got to teach our kids right from wrong. No, you can't let Ray Ray climb all over the furniture, write on the walls, throw a tantrum, etc. and think its "cute". Or say, "he's too young to spank" or "I don't believe in spanking 'cause it teaches him/her to be violent". Think about it. Back in the day, did you ever hear of elementary age kids bringing guns to school? At best, there was a fight and someone went home with a bloody nose. Now, kids get into an altercation and one is wanting to KILL the other. K-I-L-L. How scary is that? Don't you think that there is a direct correlation between us "expanding the boundaries" of our kids and the fact that their "limits" are way out of wack?
You can't wait until they are 10, 11, or 12 to start teaching them about consequences. I started with my son at age 4 (some people thought that was too young) and now, whenever he's in someone else's care or under their watch, we hear nothing but praise about his manners, his level of respect, etc. Now I do understand that it is A WHOLE lot easier when there are 2 parents under the same roof (I thank God DAILY for my wife) but in those cases when that is not possible, each parent has to step up THAT MUCH extra to make sure the total "parent job" is covered.
Don't trip. Parenting IS A FULL TIME JOB. Just 'cause you are not around 24/7 doesn't mean you shouldn't be involved 24/7. A phone call; an email; a school lunch.....hell, a post card- something- ANYTHING helps foster your influence.
I know some of you are saying "man...that's easier said than done". I'm sure it is but come on....You owe it to your kids!! And while I'm thinking about it, parents.. Stop giving your kids everything they want ..and then some. If you don't teach them now that everything will not just be given to them, when life starts to throw them some "curves", they will not know how to deal. Look at these kids who flip 'cause their parents won't let them drive the Jag to school (they have to drive the older Benz instead). I'm sure some of you...in fact, I'd venture to guess that most of you work with a person who acts like they have never heard the word "no" before. You know the type...they come into the breakroom and change the TV channel without even asking if you are watching it. During a staff meeting, they will just start talking over you without saying excuse me or anything (and look at you cross-eyed if you say something). They'll see you eating something and just come over and pick at your food...and the kicker, you are at lunch (or go out for after work drinks) where they eye your drink and before you can react they say something like "hey, what's that? It looks good! Let me get a taste" and they proceed to drink out of your glass!
Do us all a favor......Please don't "create" one of these adults-

Raise your kids correctly!!

as always,

"Doobie" & "Pumpkin"- Hugs & kisses!
To my lovely wife, Ses..
Love ya!

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Is it just me or.....

....has "W" lost his mind? 20,000 more troops? C'mon! Talk about throwin bodies at the problem. Iraq is in the midst of a civil war. Bush said in his speech "the majority of the Soonies, the Shites, and the Kurds all want to get along". THAT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE! (I was literally screaming at the TV set when he said that). These different secs have been fighting each other for centuries. What makes him think that we can over run the country with our troops, shoot any/everyone who has a gun and is not part of the police or Iraqi army, and gain "control" of a people hell bent on dying for their beliefs? You cannot threaten someone with death who has already made up their mind that they are willing to die. Granted, we cannot just turn and walk away. We effed up their country and will be leaving it in shambles just ripe for Iran or some other radical regime to take over. Notice no one is saying much about Afghanistan these days. Things are bad there as well and we do not have nearly enough troops to get the "job" done there....wait a minute...what is our "job" over there? When is the last time you have heard "W" say anything about Bin Laden? He doesn't even mention his name anymore. Guess he figures we are just too stupid or too apathetic to notice. We hear about the 3000+ soldiers killed (by the way, Britain, our closest ally in this whole Irag thing has lost 169 troops.....). What's wrong with this picture?? "W" also failed to mention that the majority of the "additional" troops won't be "new" soldiers being sent over. Most of the troops will be men and women that have already completed 1, 2, and in some in cases 3 full tours of duty over there already. Their "tours" are just being extended. Again, no mention is made of the fact that one tour of combat is tough enough.....imagine rolling the dice 3 and 4 times.

On a separate note, has anyone looked at the price of oil lately? Last I checked it was at about $54 a barrel. Last time is was that low, we were paying about $1.87 for a gallon of regular unleaded. Why then are price still at $2.29 or so in our area? "W" has a way of not mentioning his family's ties to the oil industry (most of his closest friends are heavily invested in oil as well). RECORD profits over the last couple of quarters but no mention of a special commission or of any sort of uniformed price cut. Don't get it twisted, I'm all for free enterprise and fully understand the laws of supply and demand BUT be for real.......a company makes $240 million profit in 1 quarter (which incase you forgot is only 3 months) off a commodity that we cannot do without and no one raises an eyebrow? The "haves" don't care 'cause it doesn't hurt them any. The "have nots" can cry foul all we want but since we don't contribute large sums of $ to very many (if any) political campaigns, we don't really have a voice. Think about it (and this is definitely a topic for another rant) when Joe Blow wants to run for office, the only way he has a chance of getting elected is to have a heavily funded campaign (millions of dollars). Since raising that type of money would take years to amass from "the little guy" he has no choice but to go to the "haves" which can give freely (that's why they are "haves"). Well, getting $100,000 from someone does not come without a price.....If I give you 100k, I want to be able to pick up the phone and get you whenever I want AND more importantly, if I need some legistlation passed in my favor, YOU better look out for me (remember where that 100K came from).

Ok. I feel better now....sorta.

I'm out.

Luv ya "Ses"

"Pumpkin" and "Doobie"- hugs and kisses

Adult “Time outs”

For most of you mid-30-to-early-40-something-year-olds, you are right in the middle of this journey called “life”. Husband, wife, kids, mortgage, car payment(s), tuitions, baby momma drama (or daddy drama) etc. need I go on? There are days, and we all have them, when you stress about all the above. Some of us (and yes, I fall into that group as well) struggle through, like trying to walk thru 10 inches of unshoveled snow growing tired and weary looking for some sort of solace at the end of the day while others give up, collapse or turn to outside substances to help us dull the pain. I’m sure the title of this piece gave you a bit of a chuckle but in all seriousness, whenever you retreat to the memories of days gone by (college years; high school days; clubbin til dawn; block-parties; park jams BEFORE they started shooting), don’t they bring a smile to your face? Why do we not draw on those moments when we were at our happiest when we feel downtrodden and overwhelmed?
As we grow older and the layers and levels of responsibility weigh down on us like the proverbial “gorilla” on our backs, I challenge you to take an “adult time out”. Sounds crazy right but think about it for a moment. How many times have you been in your car or listening to the radio at work when a jam comes on the radio and you say either to yourself or out loud, “Yo, that was my jam!”? For most of us, we listen briefly, nod our heads and crack a fleeting smile then get back to whatever it was that we were doing and turn the radio down. What we are actually doing is passing up a golden opportunity to replenish our souls & recharge our batteries. While we all need a vacation every once in a while to get away from it all and truly revive, why do we pass up the little rechargeable moments? My suggestion to you all is to carve out some time if not daily, at least a few times a week to reminisce and do some “self therapy”.
Now I’m about to take some of you on a “ride”. Can you still feel the adrenaline rush when you hear Eric B & Rakim’s “You Know You Got Soul”? How about the smile that comes across your face when LL screams “Mama Said Knock You Out”? Who can stop themselves from doing the “Happy Feet” in the car when you hear Chuck Brown blurt out “Run Joe” or Trouble Funk “Drop the Bomb”? It has long been documented that music has a certain healing power and it’s time that more of us take advantage of that power. I may have an unfair advantage, being a freelance deejay, in the fact that I can reach into my archives and pull out practically a jam from any genre of music made in the last century or so but with internet access, everyone has access to a wealth of musical “medicine”. Case in point- I started writing this piece at around 5 in the morning (I couldn’t get back to sleep after being awakened by my 9 year old son but that’s another column) while listening to my cable network’s “old-school hip hop” channel. I’ll admit, I didn’t wake up in the best of moods but as the sounds of UTFO, Salt N Pepa, Big Daddy Kane, and Busy Bee, filled my living room, my mood was quietly transformed. All I need now is for the Mrs’ to come downstairs so we can playfully try to replicate the Kid N Play “kick dance”. As you can probably gather by now, I’m a ‘hip hop baby”- coming of age during the dawn of rap. Beats, rhymes, Adidas with the phat laces, belt buckles, etc. are all part of my foundation. Notice I said foundation and not history or past. I firmly believe that everything that you experience, the good and the bad, should be built upon and not forgotten. Society tends to pressure you to bury those things that brought you “joy” during the years of your youth. Problem is, when you let go of all the things of your youth, you get “old” real fast.
Life is going to throw you curveballs. It ALWAYS does. Some of them we will hit out of the park. Some of them we will miss by a mile (We might even get hit by a few of them).
The important thing is to keep coming back up to bat. I encourage you to take that timeout to go back in the day. Who needs Prozac when you have Hip Hop?!

As always,

To my Wife “Ses”…..Love ya always.
To “Punkin” and “Doobie”…hugs and kisses!

dk

Darryl Krush for President

Okay. You can stop laughing, sit back and hear me out for a moment. Look at the state of government these days. Our “representatives” are not very representative at all. Politicians are supposed to be “servants” of the people. Most politicians are far from being anything close to resembling what the founders of this nation envisioned. Why is it that you need truckloads of money to even have a chance of winning even a local election? With all the modern advancements in communications (TV, the internet, email, cell phones, etc.) why do you still need more and more money to run? Why is it that you don’t see “the average Joe” on the election trail? One of the reasons former President Bill Clinton was so popular was the fact that most middle class folks, white and black, could relate to him because he came from humble beginnings and was very good at giving the appearance of not forgetting where he came from.
Do politicians have to be crooked? Are they all shifty to the point where “used car salesman” could be synonymous with their title? Don’t get me wrong….I’m sure that some people get into politics with the purest of intentions but come to find out real quick that more often than not you have to compromise on some points in order to get other points across (look at good old Arnold in California).
I am no saint. I’m not a criminal either. I consider myself a pretty honest guy. If (and that is a big “if”) I were to ever consider running for an office, I would do something that most politicians fail to do. I’d tell the truth. Sounds funny doesn’t it? Unfortunately, we all can relate to that statement. A politician that tells the truth…doesn’t even sound right.
Here’s a peak at my platform. First, I’d push for the legalization of marijuana. I’m sure you are thinking that this would never fly but let’s put this in its proper prospective.
There was a time when alcohol was illegal. There was a time when black people couldn’t ride in the front of the bus. There was a time when gay people could not get married. I think you see my point. Societal views dictate was eventually becomes acceptable to the masses. Think of all the ills of this nation legalizing “weed” would cure. First and foremost, the deficit would be able to be eliminated in a matter of years instead of decades (or the way Bush is spending money, generations!). The key is to tax the hell out of in. Just as the popularity and growth of the internet sparked phenomenal job and industry growth, making canibus legal would create thousands of jobs. Weed “farms” could be federally regulated. There could be state run marijuana acquisition centers where there could various grades of the stuff would be available. Alcohol was once illegal. Currently, the government decide what drugs are legal and which ones are not.
Think of how many people YOU know smoke marijuana. I’m sure it doesn’t take long to think of one or 2. Tobacco kills. Alcohol kills. When have you ever heard of someone dying of a weed overdose? Sure you kill a few brain cells but hey….when you look at all the other stuff out here that you know can kill you, and you still do them, weed doesn’t look so bad now does it? Vote Darryl Krush in 2008! Not.

Much love to Ses.
Hugs and kisses to Doobie & Punka!
One